Sunday, February 26, 2012
Sunday, February 12, 2012
See, it feels like I’ve been struggling with blog ideas of as of late – rather uncharacteristically, speaking as someone who falls in the “creative type” category – and was wondering if people might actually be interested in what I had for breakfast.
If so, I feel bad, because it’s not going to happen.
(Okay, I don’t really feel that bad about it. I mean, my breakfast consisting of exotic foods eaten in fascinating places with super-celebrities while doing activities like extreme snorkeling or discussing realistic solutions for world peace isn’t really that interesting. No one wants to hear about that…)
Anyhow, I haven’t been feeling particularly creative, but I lost sight of the fact that my method is to sit down and start writing. Everything else flows from that and I needn’t worry about it so much.
I suppose that I’ve been thinking a lot as of late about the fact that the universe never rewards inaction. Planning is fine – and often quite necessary – but it doesn’t mean anything unless steps are taken.
I’ve been guilty in the past of putting too much emphasis on the planning part of a process and not enough on the “actually doing it” part.
Right now I’m going through a personal revitalization stage. Continual improvement has always been, and will always be, one of the main focuses of my life. But sometimes I get so caught up in the “how am I going to do this” that I don’t place enough effort in taking steps. I wait too long for the fabled “perfect plan” to be developed when such a thing doesn’t exist.
There needs to be a balance between planning and doing, but my scale was weighted too heavily on planning and it left me ineffective in certain regards. This has been a major realization… one that I’m embarrassed has taken so long to A) recognize and B) taken action against.
But no more.
When I started this post, I didn’t have a particular direction I was thinking about taking things. Sometimes I do… just not today. That is okay, though, because I now have a completed post.
Oh, my breakfast was oatmeal and scrambled eggs. (You’re welcome.)
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
(Or maybe 2011 was a really awful year -- probably the worst since I lost my mom to cancer in 1999 -- and it is time to get back on my feet and bring you, my beloved billions of readers, even more award-winning content than ever before.)
If you've never heard the sound of the enter world rejoicing at once, take a minute and listen to the collective reaction to this news. That is what it sounds like.
I saw on CNN -- scrolling across the bottom of the screen, nonetheless -- that a company was going to have "slightly-less than expected losses" and couldn't help but wonder if that is cause for celebration or not? On one hand, slightly-less than expected losses" is considerably better than "significantly-more than expected losses." On the other, it's still losses. So do they break out the bubbly? Do they fire some office slackers (the ones who contributed to the not-enormous losses)? Do they hire me for a very large fee to fire some office slackers? If they were smart, they would!
(It's things like that that I wonder about... and fully assume that means you do, too.)
I like seeing what Internet searches are popular and trending. (The "trending" part is important, because if I'm just going with "popular," there would probably be a lot of results for adult-themed websites.)
Speaking of "adult-themed websites," people were looking up "Bikini bodyguards train in China." Bikini bodyguards? Are we really sure that Communism isn't the way to go? (Okay, I completely acknowledge that this isn't "adult-themed" -- more like "PG-13-themed" -- but I needed a good segue.)
Sometimes a good segue isn't needed.
It was recently brought to my attention that MTV ignored my pleas to send the Jersey Shore cast to Iran for the new season. I don't know what they are thinking. I mean, I'd actually watch the show if that was the premise.
Random rambling? Popular Internet searches?? Sending the Jersey Shore kids to the Middle East??? Clearly, Ducks is back!
Friday, April 22, 2011
As a wise man once said: "One thing -- depending on the thing -- can be good. Two things -- once again, depending on the things -- can be even better." We have found ourselves in such a glorious, rare situation today. Today is both Earth Day and Good Friday (listed alphabetically in order to adhere to The Ducks' policy on fairness, equality and whatnot).
Side note: Adding "As a wise man once said" to anything gives it a greater sense of credibility, I find.
The two holidays have gallantly merged forces and settled on April 22nd this year to become something inherently greater than their individual selves. (Or it just happens to be coincidence that they fall on the same day this year... but that would be a preposterous notion, if I ever heard one.)
So I want to extend a warm "Happy Good Earth Friday Day" to all my readers and followers and the other three people in this world who are not part of either of those categories.
For the non-Catholic/non-Environmentalist readers, I still bid you a pleasant day and suggest that you feel free to revel in the celebration... much like non-Christians do for Christmas and the non-Jewish do for Passover.
(Wait... What's that you say? Passover hasn't veered into the secular realm the same way?? I don't believe it, but if it's true -- long shot -- surely it has nothing to do with the consumerist appeal of Christmas.)
In spite of the good cheer normally presented on Good Earth Friday Day, the French are pissed. (And rightfully so, I might add.) Apparently, the riot police in
This morning, while getting a thoughtful Good Earth Friday Day gift for my wife (read as "picking up coffee, as I would on a non-super-holiday"), I listened to an NPR interview conducted with an irate Frenchman over this very matter.
Since all other government officials -- including police of the non-riot variety -- are allowed (encouraged??) to have a drink at lunch, riot police should, too... evidently. For it not to happen in this manner means that the one group is unequal to the others and this is unacceptable. Additionally, it means that the government is not following their own rule: "Everyone should drink some alcohol at lunchtime, especially those who operate heavy machinery, operate on people, govern the land and/or make wine." (You are impressed with my vast knowledge of French law, no doubt.)
The gentleman being interviewed was, understandably, quite upset. His British interviewer, though, was wondering what kind logical reason there would be for riot police to drink on working hours. It was
kindly pointed out that "lunch time" is not actually working hours. (That is some bloody brilliant reasoning prowess right there.) The interviewer pressed on until the Frenchman surrendered. "They should drink at lunch because everyone else does," was his (somewhat paraphrased) answer.
Maybe I need to move to
In other news, a topic that is currently trending on Bing.com is "Mandy Moore's hair." Now, I have to admit that -- like the billions of other people captivated by this fascinating topic -- I've searched for Mandy Moore's hair. Turns out it's on top of her head. (Who woulda guessed?)
Final thought for the day... As a wise man once said: Mandy Moore's hair is awesome.
Happy Good Earth Friday Day, all you party people!
NOTE: I know that Good Friday is not only for those of Catholic faith, but to have said "non-Christian" twice, instead of mixing it up, just didn't flow as well. If you were offended, I kindly offer a full money-back guarantee. Contact our Complaint Department at firstname.lastname@example.org. Thank you. - Mgmt
Monday, April 18, 2011
"They" were right... these blog posts aren't going to write themselves!
It's been awhile, but I'm back. (And just in time to make some Charlie Sheen jokes... Wait, what's that you say? Old news?? Hmmmmm. I suppose I can provide insightful commentary on that whole Nipplegate fiasco, then. I bet Justin Timberlake's career is over after that scandal. What? He was in a critically-acclaimed motion picture?? *shakes head in disbelief*)
So where have I been? Well, climbing back after dropping off the face of the earth isn't an easy task to do. First, one must find the edge of the earth. Then, he must be foolish enough to drop (or be pushed). Finally, he must find the intestinal fortitude to climb back up.
"What does that even mean?"
I am moving in a new career direction and it hasn't been easy.
"Oh. Why not just say so in the first place?'
Well, you guys know how I roll here at the Ducks. (Like starting a sentence with "Well," twice in the same post. Who else could possibly pull that off? Maybe Shakespeare? Possibly a thousand monkeys with a thousand typewriters? Probably Charlie Sheen! Other than that, no one.)
Yes! I worked my Charlie Sheen bit in today. That, my friends, is winning.