$#*! the Ducks Guy Says

Disclaimer: This post uses the S-word a little bit. If that offends you, I'd recommend checking a different blog and coming back when it's safer (which is most posts because I rarely swear here).

Disclaimer Addendum: I mentioned checking out a different blog today for those who are uncomfortable with limited usage of the S-word (and I'm certainly not judging one way or the other...). Well, I thought that maybe I'd recommend a couple worth reading. So if you are leaving here, be sure to stop by From the Inside Out, Missed Periods and Other Grammar Scares, On 'n On 'n On, and/or Karmatic Creations.

Note to the Disclaimer Addendum: You don't need to only check out those particular blogs today. I'd recommend adding them to your reading list and/or following them. (They are some of my faves.)

As a thought, I could have recommended even more blogs, but then we'd be here all day and that couldn't possibly be a good thing for everyone's respective productivity. I mean, if you are one of my many doctor-readers and you were supposed to be saving lives, but instead opted to read a long list of blogs that I recommended, it would be simply tragic for your unattended patients. I couldn't live with that being on my head, so I kept the list short.

You're all welcome.

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So someone asked me recently if I remember that I have a blog. (Gotta love subtlety.)

Well, let's get right into it...

Tonight is apparently the initial episode of "$#*! My Dad Says" and I'm quite conflicted. On one hand, it has William Shatner, which is a good thing in my book. On the other hand, it's a TV show based on a Twitter feed.

(Did I really just type "TV show based on a Twitter feed?" Let me check. Yes. Yes, I did.)

(The poor, proverbial little snowball in Hell suddenly has a better chance, because it must be freezing down there now.)

A TV show based on a Twitter feed?! (I apparently cannot write that enough.) Seriously?!

Well, it's actually based on the book based on the Twitter feed, but still...

Is it possible to actually develop a show based on a series of quotes? For the uninitiated, Twitter lets people post snippets of conversation or wisdom or humor, etc. I use the term "snippets" because of the 140 character count limit for Tweets. Although, if you've made it this far on the Interwebs, you probably already know Twitter's story. (And, of course, Ducks Out Of A Row readers are highly-intelligent, well-informed members of society.)

(Not-completely off-topic: My wife loves the term "Retweet" because it sounds like Tweety Bird saying "Retreat!" So this makes me picture the yellow cartoon wearing a soldier's helmet and imploring his troops to find safer ground.)

The guy behind the Twitter feed -- and I have no qualms with this, because it sounds like a fine idea for Twitter -- basically would post "shit" his dad said. Humorous enough premise for a Twitter account, but how did it go from that to a TV show? I know that unoriginality reigns supreme with regard to entertainment in this day and age -- ugh, I've officially become a curmudgeon -- but this is asinine. (Well, if I'm going "curmudgeon," I might as well go "all in.")

The premise is a gimmick that will lend itself to predictability... which is bad entertainment. (Of course, we've set the bar pretty freaking low with regard to entertainment. Am I right, the Jersey Shore cast?) How can any episode be anything other than a matter of waiting to see what kind of crazy shit William Shatner is going to say next? (This particular post is chockfull of sentences I never thought I'd write.) If that's the case -- and I'm firmly entrenched in the belief it will be -- how can this be any good?

(If you have any answers to that question, please feel free to leave them in the Comments section. Or don't, I suppose. I mean, I'm not one to tell other people what to do.)

Now, there's actually a second problem I have with this as-of-yet-unaired show: the title. If they outright called it "Shit My Dad Says," I would probably be okay with that. (The "probably" in that sentence has nothing to do with the curse word, but more on that in a second...) Instead, they make me use the secondary functions of these number keys (which I have to look at because I'm a normal person and do not have all of them memorized, except for the exclamation point... which I know is the first one) to type the show's title.

I'm not sure if I'm alone in this, but I think it is incredibly annoying when the announcer in the commercials for the show reads "Bleep My Dad Says." He seriously says "Bleep," as if we are completely in the dark as to what is actually supposed to be said there. Hate to break it to CBS, but we all know what it means. I mean, what other word that "needs" to be censored makes sense there? The F-word? No. The A-word? Nope. The Q-word? Definitely not!

(Okay, I just threw that last one in there to see if anyone is still reading. To the best of my knowledge, there isn't an actual curse word starting with "q." And if there is, I don't want to know about it!)

If you remember from two paragraphs ago, I mentioned that I'd "probably" be okay with them calling the show "Shit My Dad Says." The reason I had to drop in that caveat is because, obscenity or not, the title really pigeonholes the entire show.

Given that they had to actually develop plots -- hopefully I'm not being presumptuous in believing that they did, in fact, develop plots -- to go with the pearls of entertaining wisdom coming from the old man, why not give the show a new title?

I mean, it's not like the show is a Twitter feed, comprised solely of sayings which are 140 or less characters in length.

Anyhow, I just thought I'd speak my mind about this a bit. Now I need to go tweet my rant.

(No, CBS, my Twitter feed is NOT for sale.)

Editor's note: This dude hasn't updated his Twitter account in months. (Yet somehow he has at least one new follower added every day...) He's absolutely delusional if he thinks CBS is going to be calling.