Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Let's Build Something Together vs. You Can Do It, We Can Help

So on my way in to work today, I was trying desperately to get my Rush "Different Stages" cd to play. (The stupid cd player kept popping the disc back out and cursing at me.) (Only half of that really happened.)

Note for my billions of older readers: A cd is a lot like an EP/LP record except: smaller, not black, no visible grooves, one side, a needle would seriously mess it up, etc. Basically, it's round, like record, with a hole in the middle and contains music. Other than that, they aren't "a lot" alike.

Note for my billions of younger readers, from the MP3 Generation: Get a job, you young punks.

2nd Note for my billions of younger readers, from the MP3 Generation: A cd is a lot like an MP3 except: more tangible. Well, actually they aren't anything alike. If you don't know what a cd is, go ask your parents.

Anyhow, I was forced to listen to the radio for a bit while I wiped the back of the cd on my pants. (Not for fun. Sometimes it helps and that's pretty much what I was going for with the wiping.) Whilst listening to the FM, I heard back-to-back commercials for both Lowe's and The Home Depot. (I had a strong desire to build something. Then I remembered that a carpenter I'm not. I am absolutely horrible with trying to figure out how tangible things will fit together and I'm much better suited to words and whatnot. So I developed a strong desire to blog about it. Annnnnd here we are.)

Now, this got me wondering if it was intentional that the programming manager put these respective commercials next to each other. ("Eh, let's have them duke it out -- head-to-head -- and see who is truly the mightiest home improvement store... in the greater Muskegon area.") (Note: I don't necessarily live in "the greater Muskegon area," but that is where 101.3 -- The Fox Rocks! -- is apparently based.)

Furthermore, I started wondering if the first commercial (Lowe's) would be more effective, because it seemed to be a much higher quality commercial -- Note: I don't own stock in Lowe's or anything like that. I mean, my sister worked there like four years ago, designing kitchens for peeps, but she's been out of that game for a long time. -- or if the second commercial would be more effective on account of it being the last one the listener heard... assuming said listener didn't turn off the radio just after listening to the Lowe's commercial.

(Listener: "Wow. This is a fantastic commercial for Lowe's. I'm going to turn my radio off and head right there.")

Or, I suppose, the possibility exists that people started their cars the exact moment the Lowe's sales pitch had finished and were only influenced by Home Depot's less-good-than-Lowe's commercial. (The phrase "less-good-than-x" is trademarked by me. Don't try to use that piece of high caliber writing without my written consent. Thank you.)

So maybe they headed right to The Home Depot!

As such, I'm left wondering which home imporvement store stood to benefit more from this metaphorical cage match between the industry heavyweights.

I suppose that, much like the amount of licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, we'll never know.

(Yeah, I think about really odd things from time to time.)

(You already knew that? From reading this very blog?? Huh. I guess I could see that.)

Editor's note: For all the millions of you who are concerned, the writer was ultimately able to get his Rush cd to kick in and, yes, he did rock out to "Limelight" a bit in the parking lot before entering the office. He appreciates your concern.


  1. And just for the record, I do know what a CD is, ancient that I am. However, I have no clue what an MP3 player is.

    As to the Depot vs. Lowes...well, all I can say is when I lived up north I shopped at Home Depot, now I'm down south I shop at Lowes. Don't know why. It's not as if they weren't back to back in either place.

    My favorite rush has always been Tom Sawyer.

  2. Piedmont: That note is actually for my retirement-age readers. (I assume that Ducks Out Of A Row is a huge hit with the senior citizen set.)

    p.s. Tom Sawyer is a great one, too. (I'm an unapologetic Rush fan.)

  3. Yeah, well, I even know what a cassette is AND an 8-track tape AND a 45-record (and 33s too)!

  4. I have the same problem with my car CD player. My theory is that it's a patriotic thing. My CD's are French language ones and Rush is Canadian. I need to try a Bruce Springsteen CD to confirm.

  5. CD's are notoriously tempermental :) I find that wiping them on the pants generally gets them working again :) Glad to hear you had a little rock out session before work :) A good way to start the day!

  6. Yeah, well....that would explain the video of you on YouTube rocking out like a crazy man in your car before work. (BTW: You were 5 minutes late.)

    As for the ingenious genius who put Lowe's and HD ads together? Sounds to me like he just didn't give a damn.

    Next time it happens, I want you to stake out both places simultaneously and let me know who gets more business.


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