Let's Build Something Together vs. You Can Do It, We Can Help

So on my way in to work today, I was trying desperately to get my Rush "Different Stages" cd to play. (The stupid cd player kept popping the disc back out and cursing at me.) (Only half of that really happened.)

Note for my billions of older readers: A cd is a lot like an EP/LP record except: smaller, not black, no visible grooves, one side, a needle would seriously mess it up, etc. Basically, it's round, like record, with a hole in the middle and contains music. Other than that, they aren't "a lot" alike.

Note for my billions of younger readers, from the MP3 Generation: Get a job, you young punks.

2nd Note for my billions of younger readers, from the MP3 Generation: A cd is a lot like an MP3 except: more tangible. Well, actually they aren't anything alike. If you don't know what a cd is, go ask your parents.

Anyhow, I was forced to listen to the radio for a bit while I wiped the back of the cd on my pants. (Not for fun. Sometimes it helps and that's pretty much what I was going for with the wiping.) Whilst listening to the FM, I heard back-to-back commercials for both Lowe's and The Home Depot. (I had a strong desire to build something. Then I remembered that a carpenter I'm not. I am absolutely horrible with trying to figure out how tangible things will fit together and I'm much better suited to words and whatnot. So I developed a strong desire to blog about it. Annnnnd here we are.)

Now, this got me wondering if it was intentional that the programming manager put these respective commercials next to each other. ("Eh, let's have them duke it out -- head-to-head -- and see who is truly the mightiest home improvement store... in the greater Muskegon area.") (Note: I don't necessarily live in "the greater Muskegon area," but that is where 101.3 -- The Fox Rocks! -- is apparently based.)

Furthermore, I started wondering if the first commercial (Lowe's) would be more effective, because it seemed to be a much higher quality commercial -- Note: I don't own stock in Lowe's or anything like that. I mean, my sister worked there like four years ago, designing kitchens for peeps, but she's been out of that game for a long time. -- or if the second commercial would be more effective on account of it being the last one the listener heard... assuming said listener didn't turn off the radio just after listening to the Lowe's commercial.

(Listener: "Wow. This is a fantastic commercial for Lowe's. I'm going to turn my radio off and head right there.")

Or, I suppose, the possibility exists that people started their cars the exact moment the Lowe's sales pitch had finished and were only influenced by Home Depot's less-good-than-Lowe's commercial. (The phrase "less-good-than-x" is trademarked by me. Don't try to use that piece of high caliber writing without my written consent. Thank you.)

So maybe they headed right to The Home Depot!

As such, I'm left wondering which home imporvement store stood to benefit more from this metaphorical cage match between the industry heavyweights.

I suppose that, much like the amount of licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, we'll never know.

(Yeah, I think about really odd things from time to time.)

(You already knew that? From reading this very blog?? Huh. I guess I could see that.)

Editor's note: For all the millions of you who are concerned, the writer was ultimately able to get his Rush cd to kick in and, yes, he did rock out to "Limelight" a bit in the parking lot before entering the office. He appreciates your concern.