Monday, February 21, 2011

The Greatest Idea of My Life Ever

This is going to be a short one today, peeps. See, I'm still not feeling like myself and, whereas I'm certainly not one who feels obligated to post, I am toughing it out and taking one for the team today. (Note: You guys are "the team.")

"What could possibly coerce our beloved Ducks Guy into doing this?" (You are very likely asking yourselves...)

Well, I have to make a public apology (according to the Ducks' legal department).

I need to apologize to the fine folks at Taco Bell -- the people who make delicious "beef-flavored-product-that-represents-beef" tacos -- for claiming that their food gave me food poisoning. Wasn't them...

It was McDonald's.

Just kidding. It wasn't a food chain. I didn't have food poisoning. I was "just" sick. (I know, you are all probably disappointed. I mean, "poisoning" is scandalous and exciting. "Sick" is lame. All the mystery and intrigue of the apparent conspiracy has evaporated. My bad.)

I realized this because I'm still kind of feeling it. And I found out that I had a three-digit temperature on Thursday night... well beyond 24-hours after my Taco Bell excursion.

Since this is kind of a crappy post, and my last one was a total partial cop-out post, I'm going to make it up to you with quite possibly the greatest idea I've ever had. So check this out, yo...

My next post will be interactive. I'm going to answer questions... questions provided by you guys!


1) First ten questions that appear in the Comments section will be answered in the next Ducks post.
2) One question per person. (Or else I would just jump in and fire off ten before anyone else has a chance.)
3) If we don't get to 10, I will create random questions. Or use Google's autocomplete function to find ones that a lot of people apparently ask. Either way...
4) Nothing too personal. (Ducks Out Of A Row is always better when it's not too much about me... Think of today's debacle as an example of that.)
5) No prizes.
6) No entry fee. (Hopefully this alleviates any pain from Detail #6.)
8) No questions about Justin Bieber. (J. Bieb jokes are a thing of the past here at the Ducks.)
9) If you don't want to know, don't ask.
10) If you want incredible answers, ask incredible questions.

Pretty simple, huh? Now let's see what you got!


  1. Is there anywhere we can go, not to hear about J. Bieb? Does that count as a question?

    If not, what are you writing? How's it going?

  2. Sweet, totally made the cutoff.

    Question: If you had Cooper Anderson and Matt Lauer and Jon Stewart in a room together, what would be the topic of discussion?

    Swinging by from the blogfest to say hi, and to follow so I don't miss anything!!
    The Survival Mama

  3. Did you report the *food poisoning* to anyone?

  4. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

    No, kidding.


    Bert or Ernie?
    Vanilla or Chocolate?
    Do you say right side up or up side right?
    Is hither thither a real saying?
    Woolly or Bully? Okay... just got sidetracked there...

    Oh, wait. Was I supposed to ask only one?

  5. M Pax: I'm not counting the JB question, because this is now a JB-free zone! So Question #1 will be "What am I currently writing?" (I'll also answer, "how is it going" as "1A," because I'm nice and care about my readers.)

    Survival Mama: Thanks for swinging by! Question #2 will be "If I had Cooper Anderson and Matt Lauer and Jon Stewart in a room together, what would be the topic of discussion?" Excellent choice!!

    Karen: Question #3: "Did I report the food poisoning to anyone?" Enquiring minds want to know... so they will! :)

    Jolene: Question #4: "Were you only supposed to ask one?" You gave me so many options and I picked one.

  6. Snuggie and its unfathomabley profit laden popularity aside, what's the most important invention that you wish you could take credit for? You know, because we've all had ideas that we didn't act upon and suddenly someone else is a billionaire with your idea and your still you.

  7. Dorn: Kudos on eliminating the obvious choice and forcing me to reach deeper! Well-played, my friend. Well-played.

    Question #5: "What is the most important non-Snuggie invention I wish I could take credit for?"

    Halfway there, folks! Keep 'em coming!!

  8. Question: When the system has failed, the ducks just aren't cooperating, the American dollar has become an obsolete antique and there's nothing left but food, water and books, which books would you be reading?

  9. Hmm.... I made the cut off and now I feel obligated to come up with a good question........

    What IS the difference between a duck?

    or, if that's too existential for you...

    Soup or Socks?

  10. Lee & Rebecca: Thanks for playing along! Your respective questions will be featured in the next post!! :)

    For those keeping score at home... We are now up to seven (7) questions. Three more, so make 'em count!

  11. So do you consider yourself to be more of a "garden variety" genius, a writing genius or an evil genius? Personally, I think of you as a super genius...

  12. So some wise and very astute stranger -- probably extremely good-looking, too -- was kind enough to stop by and give us an 8th question. Two more to go!!

  13. Glad to hear Taco Bell is free and clear of responcibility for your puke fest of '11.

    What's the all time best thing you ever ate?

    (Since it wasn't actual food which got you sick, I figured it was ok to inquire about food)

  14. I'm so sorry you've been sick. And if it was the stomach flu, which it sounds like it was, that is the worst. Ugh. I still remember the last time I had that. *shudder*

    A you write novels? Short stories? Magazine articles? Inquiring minds want to know.

  15. Oh no... I didn't make the cut. Well, at least you've restored my faith in Taco Bell. Not that I can get it over here. Well, I'll ask a question anyway:

    If you had to choose ONE Taco Bell item to ship to England for me, which one would it be and why?

  16. Um, just so you know-I'm usually too cool for the room. but just this one time.....;/

    don't think I made the cut - flashback to high school gym class/dodgeball - old enough now not to care.

    There doesn't seem to be a rule 7 on the this a trick?
    Are you the key master?
    Oh that's two - my greedy selfishness is showing. Shocker.


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