As I'm sure you're all well aware, the staff here at the Ducks keeps a careful eye on what young people are into nowadays.
Given the amount of our street cred (enormous) and how in touch with youth pop culture preferences we are here (very in touch), it's only natural that today we talk about the Spice Girls. (You know, because I like to hit the big issues of the day. I mean, President Obama gave his State of the Union address, The Ivory Coast still has two presidents, "all sorts of crazy shit" -- as Walter Mondale is on the record as saying* -- is going down in Egypt, and the Spice Girls. Those are the big ones and I decided to stay true to my journalistic nature and pick the single most important of the lot.)
So their current smash hit song "Wannabe" got me thinking...
The chorus goes a little something like this: "If you wannabe my lover/you gotta get with my friends./Make it last forever./Friendship never ends."
(Yes, I'm singing that out loud right now.)
(Yes, my co-workers are deeply concerned and their ears scarred for life.)
I'm thinking one of the surest ways to make a friendship end is getting together with someone else's lover, but maybe that's just me.
"You slept with my lover, you skanky ho!"
"Hold on. We are friends and that never ends."
"Oh, that's right. I'm sorry I totally forgot about that. My bad."
"You better believe that's your bad... but we are BFF and I'm forgiving you."
"Thank you, but it still feels like I should be mad at you for sleeping with Bill."
"Friendship NEVER ends."
"Okay. Do you want to watch The Jersey Shore?"
(Note: I'm sure the "if you want to be my lover you need to 'get' with my friends" bit was done to death in the mid-90's, but it only recently occurred to me that they follow it up with the "friendship never ends" part. So, uh, I felt compelled to share it with the world via the Internet. Sounds kind of sad when I say it like that, though...)
Now, I'm pretty good at figuring things out. Maybe not Rubik's cubes or Sudoku or women, but a lot of other things. (Just trust me.) As such, I figure you are probably wondering why I have that song stuck in my head. Let me answer that by saying "Excellent question."
("Um, that really doesn't answer it.")
Okay, I have to admit that I was stalling, but it just struck me where this all comes from!!! I have these random mixed cd's that I burned for while driving around -- wait a second and hear me out before you jump to the conclusion that I was listening to the Spice girls while cruising in the 'hood.
Well, one of them has a couple of Tenacious D songs, including "Friendship." (For the uninitiated, "Tenacious D is an American rock band that was formed in Los Angeles, California in 1994. Comprising lead vocalist and guitarist Jack Black and lead guitarist and vocalist Kyle Gass, the band has released two albums...") (Courtesy of the ever-resourceful Wikipedia.)
The Tenacious D song ends with "as long as there's a record deal we'll always be friends" and that must have weeded its way into my subconscious and fermented into deep thoughts about "friendship." There you have it!
Well, that's all I got for you fine, upstanding citizens today. Next time we will discuss the pending rumors that Justin Timberlake is leaving 'N Sync. (I'm hoping this one's not true, because I just don't see him catching on as a solo act.)
Editor's note: He really hopes to do better next time, folks. (Quite frankly, I really hope he does, too.)