Caw, Caw, QUACK!!!

Facebook...

I have this love/hate relationship with that particular social networking site. On one hand, I like being able to keep up with family and friends. On the other, I'm kind of an extremely private person (well, except for my very public habit of blogging...) and Facebook is the pinnacle of the "f' it, let's just get rid of privacy all together" mentality that seems to be so vogue in society nowadays.

I'm severely conflicted over the whole thing.

Anyhow, conflicted as I am, I use Facebook. By "use," I mean that I mostly check out my feed and see what other people are up to. I change my status every couple of weeks, give or take. Last night, though, my beautiful wife insisted that I take the "Spirit Animal" quiz. She found out she was an owl, much to her dismay. They are known for having a dark sense of humor, and this particular spirit animal doesn't fully express her intense care for those who are close to her. So she's bummed about that.

My spirit animal was "ocelot." Well, no it wasn't. It should have been... Instead, it was "crow" and now I'm pissed.

Apparently crows embody the inquisitive nature that I'll readily admit to possessing. But still... they're crows! They kind of just "caw." Besides, as my loyal readers -- or anyone who checks out my initial post! -- know, I'm the quintessential INFP, using Myers-Briggs personality typing and the F stands for Feeling.

The other day I asked my loving wife which of the four letters (Introvert, iNtuitive, Feeling and Perceiving) she thought might be the weakest for me. Well, we both pretty much agreed that I'm strong in all of them across the board -- thus, the self-proclamation of "quintessential INFP" in the previous paragraph (in case you missed it...).

What does this have to do with anything? Well, to be completely honest, I'm very sensitive (Oh, how it pains me to say that publicly!!). On a positive note, I tend to be more sensitive to the feelings of other people than my own. So it's not like I'm just sitting around, moping and listening to The Cure all day.

Note to The Cure: No offense, guys. Bloodflowers is an amazing album and I rather enjoy a lot of your music, but you're kind of my go-to-band for when I need an example of depression. Please don't hate me!

Alright, so we've established that I'm this touchy-feely girly-man (who somehow has a hot wife...). Do you associate crows with being "touchy-feely?" If you are struggling to decide whether you do or don't (or perhaps you are asking yourself "wait, why am I even thinking about this?"), the correct answer is "hell no." They are as insensitive as birds come. I mean, didn't you see that one Disney movie back in the day? Might have been Dumbo... The crows were assholes. (Pardon the language.) That is so not me!

Basically, Facebook really dropped the ball on this. I think I'm going to start a campaign to get Facebook to change my spirit animal to "ocelot." We all know that a successful Facebook campaign can do anything. Ask Betty White!

I do have to admit... They did get it completely right with a different quiz, though; I'm totally Charlotte from “Sex and the City.”