Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Travesties - Great and Small, Vol. 2

Gentle reader, you are in luck... two Ducks Out Of A Row posts for you today!

There was going to be just one post in the Travesties - Great and Small series today, but a new one just came up. As per my usual style, a little background...

Recently I ordered a new charger for my laptop from (nope, not getting any money from them for the shout out - as a matter of full disclosure). Yesterday afternoon, I checked the delivery tracking and saw that it had gone to the apartment office. Cool, I thought (my thoughts use lame terminology like "cool"... it's rather sad), I'll swing by before 6 p.m. and pick it up.

So I left the office a little before 5:30, stopped by the bank to order some checks and stopped home to get the mini-form UPS (once again, no corporate dollars are being funneled my way!) leaves on the door. I get to the office at 5:50 -- plenty of time to spare -- and find out they actually close at 5:30 (those slackers!).

Fast forward to this morning... Before leaving the apartment, I make sure I have my: milk, granola bar, keys, cat (just checking to see if you're still with me...) and slip from UPS so that I can swing by the office when I go home for lunch and pick up the charger.

When I park my car, I take in the stuff I need (milk, granola bar, cat, etc.) and leave the note in the car. Now, I had made an additional stop this morning and was a bit behind -- not late, but not as far ahead in space as I would have liked to been at the time -- so I was fine with the mini-note being sticky-side up.

I was just chilling at my desk -- that is the hip way of saying "working very diligently" -- when I received a call from an unnamed loved one (may or may not have been my beautiful wife...). Something came up and my assistance was needed.

As a sidetracking note -- my regular readers know how I work by now -- I like being of assistance. Helping other people out makes me feel good, makes me feel like I've contributed something to the greater good and all that jazz. Note to self: Google the origins of phrase "and all that jazz."

Anyhow, I ran out real quick and took care of something. (Yes, that is intentionally vague. The loved one in need of assistance, may or may not be the wife, would most likely prefer it that way.) I came back to the office and resumed my "chilling," which we discussed earlier for those who are just tuning in. It dawned on me that I needed to run upstairs to our R&D department, so I did. Let it never be said that I can't do things! Upon returning to my desk, I paused for a second before sitting down. I had a sense that something was not right, felt a grave disturbance in The Force. (If you are unfamiliar with Star Wars, go back to the previous sentence and re-read up to the coma, then jump to the first parenthesis and resume your reading from there. Thank you. - The Management)

Being a man of action (well, I'm more a man of "mostly thought and not as much action" but that just doesn't flow...), I reached behind me and located the source of the "grave disturbance"... It was the UPS form. The sticky side had latched onto my behind and I was walking around the office with a UPS thing affixed to my lower end.

THAT is a travesty!!

As a note: Today's other entry in the Travesties - Great and Small series will be more serious in nature. Not as heavy as the planned series wrap-up, but certainly not nearly as light-hearted as groups who deserve recognition or a fool walking around with a UPS sticker on his butt.


  1. I may or may not be the above referenced wife, but I bet your cute little butt looked even cuter with a UPS sticker on it!

  2. Could have been a mythical travesty had this fallen one day earlier aka "May The Fourth Be With You Day."

  3. Rats! A mythical travesty would make my life complete!! Can't believe I missed the boat on that...


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