I have an important declaration today. This will directly affect all my 6,664,195 Washington readers and my 1,545,801 Idaho readers, but everyone really needs to know about this!
I find it interesting -- but not surprising -- that all of these West Coast peeps swing by on a daily basis, even though those numbers surely include: children who can't read just yet, those without Internet access and blind people. Although, I've been told that Ducks Out Of A Row is huge with the blind population.
Anyhow, all you Washingtonians and Idahoans are about to experience a simpler life. You can thank me later.
In true Ducks Out Of A Row fashion, a little back-story...
Someone who is very close to me -- may or may not be the lovely wife -- is originally from out west. She -- assuming this person is a female -- grew up on, or close to, the border of Washington and Idaho. She went to colleges in both states, held jobs in both states and even lived in, you guessed it, both states.
I'm not the smartest man in the world. (Stunned, right? No? Eh, I guess that's to be expected...) Sometimes it is difficult for me to keep track of where she was living or working or educating when she tells me stories about the not-as-wild-as-advertised West. It can be rather confusing and results in a lot of this:
Unnamed female: "So when I was working at [name withheld to protect the innocent]..."
Me: "That was in Idaho, right?"
UF: "No, Washington. When I was working there, it reminded me a time when I went to [name withheld for the heck of it] College..."
Me: "So that was in Washington?"
UF: "No, Idaho. Do you ever listen?"
Unrelated side note: I've heard this before, but it's a great point... Why do the innocents need to be protected? They didn't do anything.
Alright, so the moral of the story is that I get all sorts of confused trying to keep up with what school or job was in which state. It's really tough.
I am, if nothing else, a problem-solving kind of dude. I came up with a solution that can make everyone happy. We are simply going to merge the states together and create a new, super state. Unlike superheroes, it will not have any particular powers... unless we define "not confusing the hell out of that one guy from Michigan who writes the weird blog" as a superpower, and I think we really should. (At least, let's talk about it.)
So the two states are now one. (Thank goodness they aren’t “same sex” states!!) But I'm not done, folks. After you create something/combine-two-states-without-technically-having-any-authority-to-do-so (either way…), you generally have to name it. Since Idaington clearly doesn't work, the new state is hereby called Washaho.
Yes, I just named a new state "Washaho." I don't know what the previous coolest name for a state was, but this far exceeds it.
All you Washahoans can now thank me.