Monday, July 19, 2010

How to Cause an Upset Stomach (Even If You Don’t Already Have One)

I'm going to keep this short today, peeps. You know that's not my usual style, but I'm not feeling my usual self. (My stomach usually doesn't feel like it's full of rusty nails agitating like a washing machine.)

Truth be told, I was going to forgo posting altogether, but a certain headline caught my eye and I had some thoughts -- as I'm prone to do -- and figured I'd share.

Upon logging out of Hotmail, presented me with the following gem -- "Report: 'Jersey Shore' cast goes on strike."

(Why couldn't those sadists at MSN know that I am already sick to my stomach?)

Apparently, the "stars" -- and I use that term in the loosest possible context (think Pauly Shore) -- believe they are underpaid.

(Now, I don't know the going rate for: working out, tanning and laundering dirty clothes, but if it's more than $10k/episode, then I am clearly in the wrong profession.)

The problem with fame is that it gives people an inflated sense of self-importance. Sure, entertainment serves a somewhat important role. Life is stressful and hard, and the temporary escape it provides can help keep us sane.

But let's keep things in perspective, people!

Does anyone really think the Jersey Shore crew serves a more vital purpose to society than doctors, teachers or firefighters? (Well, I mean "anyone besides the cast of Jersey Shore themselves.")

Given the choice, would anyone really pick "being able to watch Jersey Shore" over "having my garbage removed?" (As long as people are using their heads, they are choosing garbage men as being more important than Jersey Shore cast members.)

Perhaps I shouldn't get hung up on something as trivial as "talent," but what possible talent do these people have to offer, exceptional tan-ness aside? (None.) Why should I care about them? (I don't.) And why can't that one guy keep his shirt down? (Note: I'm in excellent physical condition, but I don't feel the need to constantly pull up my shirt in public.)

According to Wikipedia -- the most reliable source of information ever created -- there were 9 episodes of Season 1. At $10,000 a pop, that's... well, you can do the math. Is the service they provide really that valuable?

No, no it's not.

Editor's note: He'll do better next time, folks. The stomach issues have not been a lot of fun.


  1. Nails? Not good. Have you ever tried peppermint for gut gripes? Altoids are good. Maybe the garbage guys can take "Jersey Shore" on the truck?

  2. Sports Nation even mentioned that today! Host Colin Cowherd claims their next job will be working at Wendy's.

    Now dude - go do something to make yourself feel better!

  3. I'm dumbfounded, this is the fourth time I've read about this today. Get those nails removed please! Apparently "The Situation" (Person presumably) got a raise to GTL and the rest were like "Oh No He Dit Ent!" Wait, not that's Queens, not Jersey. Screw it, feel better soon John.

  4. Thanks everyone! I'm feeling quite a bit better today, which is nice because my stomach issues started late Friday afternoon. I thought it might have been food poisoning, but not sure that would have lasted for three days...

  5. I'm glad to read you're feeling better. I have not seen Jersey Shore, nor am I mourning this fact. I'm with you - where do I sign up to get paid $10,000 to drink, suntan and do laundry? Of course, I'm not a bleached blonde and I'm not model-worthy, so I'm thinking my chances of getting cast are fairly small...

  6. j.m.,

    I came over here from Talli's blog because your comment made me laugh! Looking forward to following your blog!


  7. I'm sorry to hear you're sick! And after news of the Jersey Shore strike, I tasted mini vomit.

    I've never watched the show, I have no idea what the fuss is about, and I agree about the shirt. People can tell if you're in shape, we don't need to see proof.

    Hope you feel better soon.

  8. Elspeth & Karen G. - Welcome aboard! Generally, I try to post new content on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays... but that is a very flexible schedule. Hope you like it here! :)

    Julie - I really should have put a disclaimer before this particular post. ("Not for the weak of stomach.")

  9. I wonder what it would be like to live in a place where people don't get paid for being a complete ass.
    Thanks again for the laugh.

  10. Hey there! Found you from Talli's blog. I'm SO with you about the cast of Jersey Shore. They get paid so much for doing... that? And then they whine like babies for MORE money? Please. I have no pity.

    Good post, though!

  11. oh, if this is what you call a short post, I wonder what is it that you call an upset stomach :))))))))))

  12. Jolene - You are certainly welcome for any and all laughs. (That's kind of our mission here!)

    Shelley - Welcome aboard! I actually gave Talli a shout out on today's post. I'm a big fan of her blog.

    Dezz - "Upset stomach" felt like death. (But notice that I put "felt" in the past tense!)

  13. yes, yes, I did notice you were still alive ;))

  14. PREACH IT BROTHER! As the wife of a teacher, the fact that a person nicknamed "The Situation" gets a better paycheck than my husband makes me ill. Yes, it's entertainment. Yes, I've watched it a time or two (maybe three when I've been REALLY bored). Do I think they deserve more money? NO.

    Glad you're feeling a little bit better :)


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