Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Last Blogger Standing

As established the other day, I'm not a fan of reality tv shows.

What wasn't established was the fact that my least favorites are ones in the vein of -- as examples -- The Hills, Jersey Shore, Real Housewives of [insert random city] and The Kardashians (not sure if that is actually the name of the show, but let's just go with it...).

See, I already have crazy/insane/eccentric friends and family. I don't need to care -- and I use that term in the loosest possible (think "Lindsey Lohan") definition -- about strangers who are just concerned with being famous. Some people, unfortunately, would think I'm weird for this, but I care more about people I actually know than those I don't. ("I knew he was strange.")

If you're wondering why I'm beating this dead horse, I'll address it in one second.

If you weren't wondering, I'll bet you are now! [How's that for piquing audience interest? Ha!]

So those reality shows really don't do it for me. [Cue the non sequitur.] In order to bolster that previous sentence, we could totally redefine "do it" as "keep the contents of my stomach down where they belong," but I'd advise against the redefinition. I mean, all husbands the world over would be totally screwed.

Guy: "Hey baby, let's, uh, keep the contents of my stomach down where they belong... if you know what I mean." *suggestive winking*
Gal: "I'm quite tired, so stop touching me already. Not. Gonna. Happen."
Guy: *weeps silently in the face of rejection*
Wolf: *howls in the distance*

Note: "Guy" was played by Dawson (of "Dawson's Creek" fame), "Gal" was played by Lady Gaga and "Wolf" was played by Justin Bieber.

Justin Bieber jokes never get old.

Speaking of jokes -- ("Wherever does he come up with those genius segues?" - Justin Bieber) -- there actually is a reality show that I thoroughly enjoy.

Didn't see that coming, did you? Neither did I, but I was reminded of it the other night.

Being a stereotypical straight guy, I'm not all that interested in stars dancing.

Being a sensitive, 90's type of guy (who is trapped in the 00's... which happens to be the plot of the screenplay I'm currently working on*), I don't like any show that calls overweight people "losers."

And being out of touch with pop music, I am not terribly intrigued to watch/listen to a bunch of wannabe idols butcher classic songs or warble through contemporary fare.

Seeing a bunch of stand-up comedians over the span of two hours from the comfort of my own couch, though? Sign me up!!

If you don't know what I'm talking about -- which I could actually see being the case for most of my posts ("Where'd the juggling monkey reference come from? I just don't get it. He IS weird.") -- NBC's Last Comic Standing pits comedians against each other to see who wins.

I enjoy stand up comedy and am not going to apologize for it. The comedians on the show need to have more talent than the Kardashian girls do when they go shopping. They aren't just getting drunk and shacking up with one another. And none of the contestants, as far as I can tell, have had even a tenth of the work done that Heidi Montag has.

So I like the show. Now let me tell you a quick story from a couple seasons back...

In the 5th season of Last Comic Standing, there was a comedian who I thought was absolutely brilliant. His name is Gerry Dee and the man had great material. Really funny stuff.

Now, for those who feel that I've been harsh on Canadians -- and I'm not one of those people... I have absolutely nothing against them (how could anyone?) -- Gerry Dee hails from the Great White North. So here is definitive proof that I'm not biased against the good people from Canada: Gerry Dee is my favorite stand up comedian.

Anyhow, the man is incredibly funny and made it to the final three. He was up against a white redneck who told "white redneck" jokes and a big black man who told "big black man" jokes. Basically, it was Gerry Dee versus two stereotypes, who were playing into their stereotypes, which I find to be rather lazy and uninspired.

Well, he lost and one of the other two won, but I don't know who did. I watched the show the entire season... except for the finale because I was that mad about it. So I have no idea if it was the redneck or the guy who should probably go on America's Biggest Loser (or Dancing with the Stars).

I could probably google it, but that seems like it'd take a lot of effort.

* Steal my award-winning (in all likelihood) movie idea and there will be consequences. Like, I won't go see it in the theater, but I MIGHT rent it when it comes out on video. Take that!


  1. I have no interest in reality shows either. Why do I want to watch strangers (with messed-up lives) do dumb things on TV?

  2. My current reality show allowance: Holmes on Homes.

    From the site: "In each episode, Mike rescues homeowners from repair and renovation disasters... he shows how the botched job should have been completed, fixing each project properly and helping homeowners make more informed decisions in the future."

    The guy is an egomaniac. I'd hate him if I met him. But I love the concept... and apparently can't get enough facts about sealant and insulation.

    Guilty pleasure: The MTV show with the spoiled kids on their 16th birthday. It's like a parenting tutorial of exactly what not to do.

  3. Alex - Even though I'm quite sure that the question was rhetorical, you don't. :) Welcome aboard!

    Straight Guy - Haven't heard about Holmes on Homes, but that sounds like it has redeeming value (unlike the ones I had mentioned), so I have no qualms about a show like that.

    Now, the "My Sweet 16" (or whatever it's called...) show just makes me want to smack some clueless parents upside the head and say "What the hell is wrong with you?"

  4. There are certainly a lot of crappy reality shows out there. I like the ones where I can learn something, like Pawn Stars, American Pickers, and Mythbusters (are those reality shows??...I mean, it's not scripted, so.. )
    It's also an interesting thought what you said about The Biggest Loser... I stopped watching that show long ago. They are destroying those people's bodies from the inside out.

  5. I love stand up too. But, I also love Project Runway.

  6. Kristin - I think those do consitute "reality" because of a lack of script and acting, but they are certainly not The Real World clones. For the record, I love Pawn Stars. My grandpa got me hooked on it. :)

    M.P. - Project Runway is another show that I have no qualms about because of the talent entailed with fashion design. Plus, Heidi Klum seems like a genuinely nice person -- getting past her stunning looks for a second -- and I like rooting for genuinely nice people. (Apparently, I'll continue to root for them even if they are already uber-successful.)

  7. ...everyone's in search of their "2 minutes of fame," and finding one's self under the spotlight of a reality TV show is one way for the average joe to get their mugshot on the small screen. I once enjoyed Survivor, and Idol's indeed found its share of talent from the sing-song slush pile, but overall, I'd settle for a re-run of Knight Rider instead of a group of rumbling/bumbling ex-stars in high heels skirting around a dance floor.

  8. Elliot - Knight Rider!! Great suggestion! I wonder if that is on Hulu...

  9. Last Comic Standing can cures all sorts of ails; such as depression, sadness, fatigue! I'm surprised that don't bottle that stuff up and sell it! HUGE Gerry Dee fan...he should have won it hands down!

  10. I just knew Lady Gaga wasn't in for some hanky-panky in bed :)

  11. You know what might make your head explode?

    A reality show starring Justin Bieber.

    You know it can't be that far off, right?

    Where's my copy of Apocalypse Now?

  12. NOT a fan of reality TV either, they can't even be called reality because they are now scripted. The title "reality" just gives them leverage to act like idoits!

    BTW, there is an award waiting for you over at my blog John!


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