Monday, June 21, 2010

Anagram Contest

Having just left the longest comment in the history of blogging history, it is time to get down to some serious business...

To keep you all in the loop -- which is always Goal #1 here at the Ducks! (Goal #2? World domination.) -- the comment I left is at the bottom of Friday's post. A lot of you had left comments and I was on a computer sabbatical over the weekend and I didn't want to leave you hanging, so I did that first.

Now, obviously, I am drafting a post. (And with that, everyone is up to speed.)

Today's post is going to be rather random and probably a bit all over the place... unlike, you know, the usual linear logic I tend to follow and all. ("I get it -- he's not being serious. Ha!")

First things, well, "second" or "third" (depends on how many things you've counted to this point)...
We were having fun with anagrams last week. My buddy Baloo (no, he's not actually the bear from The Jungle Book... try and sue me for that Disney!) pointed out that his wife's name – found at bottom of this post, right before the “official rules” and “examples” sections -- forms a perfect two-word anagram.

Admittedly, I have no idea what it is and haven't started trying to figure it out yet. But I'll get to working on it after a while.

So we're going to have an "on your honor" contest. Some people have contests when they reach certain amounts of followers or whatnot. I respect that. It probably feels good to log in and see "Whoa, the entire nation of Canada is following me." (Yes, that shout out is for you, Tara from the Great White North.)

Me? As previously established, I'm not concerned with amounts of followers. Whoever is going to read Ducks is going to read Ducks. Not much I can do about it one way or the other.

(That is not technically correct. I can actually do A LOT to make sure no one reads. If I start posting entirely in wingdings font, that would be a decent start. Or perhaps my readership would go up.)

(“Hey, Betty Sue! I don’t know what this Rowing Ducks guy has done, but I like his new blog style. There’s all sortsa pictures and stuff. Looks real purdy.”)

Anyhow, let me introduce the "not-related-to-how-many-followers-I-have-or-do-not-have" contest. (That's a catchy name.) Without using an anagram generator – that’s where the “on your honor” part kicks in -- the first person to come up with the two-word anagram will receive a (possibly) fabulous prize.

The prize, you ask?

Uh… I'm not sure. It will be something random and lying around my home. In an earlier post, I identified myself as a pack rat, so you know I've got stuff*. The winner will get some of it. A small "some," but some nonetheless!

Time for a little full disclosure: I do not have anything like gold medallions lying around. There is a Lean Cuisine with some turkey medallions in the freezer, but you won't get that, either. (My wife would be pissed.)

As such, the prize might not be terribly valuable. Or it might. I'm really not sure at this time. What it won't be is the cat. On this, you have my word.

The name to be anagramized is: Kirsten Elisabeth Kohl

Now go! Or read the rules first and then go! (Second choice is better.)

Official rules:

  • First person to post a correct anagram wins.
  • The two-word anagram has to actually work. I will verify this by spelling out the name and crossing off letters. (Yes, you probably assumed that is how I’d do it, but these are official rules and it needs to be spelled out. I mean, it's not like this is some two-bit operation.)
  • The new arrangement must be in English (sorry, but I’m not nearly smart enough to know all the words in all languages…) and cannot be comprised of made up words. So “sabKethst EliKohlenir,” as an example, won’t win you any prize – fabulous or not.
  • Post your answer as a comment. If you don’t have a way of contacting you already on your blog or Google profile, we’ll have to figure something out. If you do, though, I’m quite resourceful and will figure it out. Worst case, you contact me.
  • Baloo is exempt from contest.
  • Kirsten, that goes for you, too.
  • Winner is responsible for paying his or her own taxes on the prize.
  • Contest is only open to U.S. citizens, unless you happen to live somewhere else, in which case you can still participate and win.
  • Prize will be chosen solely by Ducks Out Of A Row management.

    * Examples of stuff I have: Pez dispensers, Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel from 9/11/01 (decorated with red Kool-Aid... thus my willingness to part with it), CD's, other stuff, etc. (To keep with my theme of honesty, I’m having a hard time picturing what I all have at home. But I guarantee there is stuff and someone will win some of it!)


  1. dude, you make me laugh. you do a lot to make people not read, huh? yeah, and world domination.
    sorry, i can't do math and i can't do anagrams. but i will keep reading.

  2. Ed - No worries, man. Participation is not required for all Duck readers! :)

  3. Now, if you wanted the words to the Broadway tune "Don't Rain on my Parade", I'd win hands-down!

    You're asking me to *think*? At 10:05pm on a Monday? AND turn off my tunes, so I can concentrate?

    Don't hate me. I'll wait and read everyone else's responses...

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. Well - my self deprecating fellow blogger bum - lets get something straight....I do not have the entire nation of Canada following me - YET :P

    Us writers LOVE feedback - and it is very interesting to find your target audience in order to decide your demographics for publishing...

    So YEP - I like my statcounter...
    Much more than anagrams.

  6. Kathryn - I would never make a fellow blogger turn off his/her tunes. Such behavior would be uncivil! (Civility is apparently an important tenet here at the Ducks.)

    Tara - Your "Canadian Planet" sticker prompted the shout out and no disrespect was intended at all. As I think I've mentioned in one of my comments at Karmatic Creations, your blog always gives me a lot to think about and I rather like that. :)

    p.s. If you don't enjoy anagrams, stay tuned because this will probably be the last anagram-related post here.

  7. I will be so shocked if anyone gets this. I think this may be my 15 minutes, Neeb. I used to think it was that time I was on t.v. in 1993 for a local telethon, but this is much, much bigger. I feel so analyzed.

  8. OK, I want to play. But first I have to say that this post made me laugh a lot and I thank you for that sir. Second, you made a comment about if it's real on your first anagram post. Dream now Dr. Pretender. Is absolutely real. All three names (1st, Middle & Last) but still.

    I'll post my guess in a bit.

  9. Awww no worries - it takes alot more than that to get me riled up :) No offense was taken - just playing :)

    I did read that - and as you may have read - you were on the top of my list on my day off to comment back.

    Even if you are an American (cue the tar and feathering)- I'll let it slide...I like your blog :)

  10. OK then, I have a list of 40 words or so but none with any right combination using up all 20 letters. Going to bed and will let my brain work on it as I catch some Zzz. Hopefully some night owl genius will solve your riddle!

  11. Yeah! Something to do at work tomorrow. Just kidding, Work. But, I do love an anagram- something to during my lunch break.

  12. I thought that her last name is now Kirkpatrick, not Kohl. I would have been great with the extra letters. Too bad really.

  13. SPOILER ALERT: If you are truly trying to crack this, read no further, as I may hint at the solution.

    Okay, given that there are two billion billion ways to arrange 20 letters, and a duckership likely topping only a few billion, I think there's probably only 3 ways this could play out:

    1) Conquer and divide. All 3 - 6 billion ducks will need to check about a billion combinations apiece, so if we all check about 100 per second, we'll have the answer in 7 years or so.

    2) Cheating. People could just use an online anagram generator. Unfortunately, this would not end the contest, as everyone who got the answer would be disqualified. However, it would still be a bit of a challenge: the anagram generator I originally used years ago has been updated... and it is now necessary to use the "obscure english words" dictionary to find the correct anagram (although, frankly, I consider it a load of blanketlike horse**** to think of either word of the anagram as "obscure"; in fact, they are the kinds of words that might flow quite naturally into parenthetical comments that I might leave on a blog).

    3) I could just provide a little hint in the comment section.

    Hmmm... for the time being, I'll go with #3.


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